The child at the window – images, ideas and imagination

pexels-photoThere are some images that stay with us. Those that are dark and frightening may haunt us for a lifetime; others sit quietly in our subconscious and float to the surface now and then. One image I’ve carried with me for years is that of a child at a window, and it became a recurring theme in my writing.

People often ask where ideas for stories come from, and it’s something that puzzled me too, until I actually set aside time to write. I was forever thinking up ideas for what might be an interesting basis for a story while I was chopping vegetables or driving around. I’d have a vision of what a story could look like and then, by the time I’d finished preparing dinner or parked the car, I’d promptly forget the whole thing.

Eventually, after starting a writing course, I began to keep a notebook for these germs of creativity. It was the first piece of advice my writing tutor offered. And I slowly trained myself to retain the ideas until I could write them down. At last I managed to corral my sparks of inspiration into a form I could use. Then I found there was inspiration everywhere – on television and in newspapers, in conversations overheard in cafes or on the train. And, of course, in real day-to-day life.

I used to work as a primary school teacher and people sometimes ask if the central character in ‘Not Thomas’ is based on a child I taught. In fact, he’s not based on any one child – he’s a mixture of many disadvantaged children I’ve known from the schools I taught at. Some of these children were already being monitored by social services, while others were on the verge of being referred.

‘At risk’ children tend to stick in your mind. There was the girl left alone every evening while her mother went out with a new boyfriend; the many children who came to school hungry, having not eaten a proper meal since their last school dinner. And the young boy that kept watch from the window to see when other children were setting out for school. His mother never got up early enough to see him off and he couldn’t tell the time, so that was the only way he had of knowing when to leave. He spent a long time looking out of that window.

There can’t be many teachers who haven’t known at least one child like these. Most schools have quite a few. Sometimes they’re the ones that slip through the net, the ones whose lives are difficult but who somehow struggle on. Often the best a teacher can do is make sure social services know about their concerns, and then keep a careful eye on the child.

Tomos, the boy in my novel, spends hours at the window. He’s watching for his neighbour to stop at the gate and walk him to school. And he waits at the window for his mother to come home too. Even though he has visits from a social worker, he’s still suffering from neglect. His supply teacher – he calls her simply ‘Miss’ – knows he’s not being properly looked after and she’s raised her concerns with the school’s head. She’s done what teachers everywhere do, and she’s keeping a close eye on him. She’s not based on any particular teacher I taught with, although there were plenty like her – genuinely concerned people who were always striving to do their best.

But there’s more than concern driving Miss’s actions. She has a shared history with Tomos, and her own reasons for bringing sandwiches and clean clothes to school for him. And it means she’s prepared to do much more than any right-minded teacher would.

She, of course, is a fictional teacher, caring for a fictional child. Over the years I spent writing about them, Tomos and Miss became very real to me. Even so, they’re still simply the products of my imagination. But that image – the one of the child looking out of the window – that’s reality. It’s an image recreated over and over by the many, many children waiting patiently to go to school, or watching all alone for someone to come home.

Those children are completely real.

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What Wuthering Heights did for me – the confessions of a Kate Bush fan

kate-bushI love Kate Bush’s music. I’ve been a fan ever since I first heard those jingling notes of Wuthering Heights’ opening bars. I’d just fallen in love with the novel – having had to read it for my English Lit O’Level – and so Cathy and Heathcliff were already occupying a lot of my headspace when Kate started singing about their ‘wiley, windy moor’. Perfect timing, as far as I was concerned.

Kate was unlike anything else Top of the Pops was offering back in the late seventies. Her unique voice and style certainly made me sit up and take notice. I loved her hair. At 16, I saved all my Saturday job money to pay for a Kate Bush perm, and I absolutely adored it. When I got back from the hairdressers, my dad was shocked at how my long dark hair had doubled in size. He called what I considered my gorgeous new style ‘punk’. I’m not sure he’d actually seen any punks at that point and, as I angrily informed him through the bathroom door, he’d got off lightly if all he had to worry about was my wavy hairstyle – I could have come home with a safety pin through my nose. Thankfully, no photos still exist of my Wuthering Heights phase – all safely burnt.

Kate’s hair wasn’t the only thing I copied. Bizarrely, I loved the way she danced. It was a style even I could copy – me, who couldn’t actually dance at all, who had never had even one ballet or tap lesson. I’d throw myself around the bedroom, mimicking her moves, while her iconic first album, ‘The Kick Inside’, blared out. I never took my new found ability to any discos though – no one except Kate actually danced like that in public.

But the main thing I loved was her vocal style. She has a Marmite voice, I know, and I fell into the ‘adore’ camp. I still do. And, along with her hair and dance moves, I discovered I could copy her singing too. Back in ’78, I would wail the opening lines of Wuthering Heights at full volume in our newly installed shower, much to my family’s despair. To be fair to them, they were already putting up with me clomping about my bedroom every evening with the record player at full blast. Even now I’m tempted to launch into a bar or two of the song when the urge takes me – my poor husband!

I’ve found Kate’s singing quite inspirational over the years. While I was writing my novel, I played her music on a loop and found that I only needed to hear a particular song to tap into the emotions of my five-year-old protagonist, Tomos. While I guess ‘This Woman’s Work’ should have been the obvious choice to conjure up the feelings of a small child, it was actually ‘Moments of Pleasure’ that worked best. The lyrics bear no relation to the subject I was writing about, but there’s such vulnerability in Kate’s voice, a sadness mixed with optimism. It summed up Tomos perfectly, all his unhappiness and hope.

And in a curious twist, my novel has another connection with the singer. Ruth Rowland, the lettering artist who designed the wonderful cover for ‘Not Thomas’, has also designed the script for Kate’s latest album, ‘Before the Dawn’. I smile every time I think of that fact. At last I have something that connects me, however tenuously, to my icon. Apart, that is, from my avant-garde dance moves and a long grown out perm…

Here’s a link to that song

Want to Write a Novel? Don’t Take a Leaf Out of My Book…

p1040360-bwI spend a lot of Saturdays in bookshops, standing at a book signing table (yes, standing – if I sit down people ignore me!) and attempting to interest passers-by in my books. I mostly find it a really enjoyable, positive experience and I’ve met some very interesting people. And the tiny few that aren’t so friendly, well, they’re quickly forgotten.

Recently, as I’ve chatted away about my current books, which are for children, I’ve felt compelled to mention that I have a novel for adults coming out soon. (I have to say it that way round – sadly, ‘adult novel’ has a totally different connotation.)
‘It’s about a five-year-old boy who’s desperate to see his foster father again,’ I tell them, ‘but he’s living with his mum who’s hiding a drug addiction.’

As I rabbit on, I suspect those poor, patient people I’ve cornered are conjuring up images of me steadily typing a beginning, a middle and an end to my novel. And when they finally get a word in edgeways they almost always ask the question – ‘How long did it take to write?’

Now, that’s an embarrassing question to answer, because if I’m completely honest, it took me around fourteen years. Admittedly, I did also write three books for children in that time, but all the same, fourteen years? Ridiculous!

Even more ridiculous is the fact that I didn’t write the book in any sensible order. I started with a chunk that would eventually become the middle. It was as ‘homework’ for a creative writing course I was taking at the time, and I wrote about a young boy called Tomos. He was lying in a high sleeper bed, waiting for his mum to come home and worrying about some frightening things his friend Wes had told him.

pexels-photoI had a vague idea I could make that story the basis of a novel and so, about six months later, I wrote what would eventually become the end. I printed out the two stories and put them away in a drawer until the next year, when I wrote a piece I thought might start the novel. I had no real plot in mind, and for most of the time Tomos’s stories just sat in the drawer.

But I thought about Tomos often. When I ignored him and left him lying on his high sleeper bed for too long, the thought of that little boy all alone gnawed away at me, until I had to leave whatever else I was writing and return to him. Then I’d give him something new to do – a solo to sing in the Christmas concert or a note to find from his beloved foster mum – and abandon him once more.

I’d promised myself that when the youngest of my two children went off to Uni I’d do something with Tomos’s stories, but my son was nearing the end of his course and I still hadn’t given Tomos the attention he was patiently waiting for. So, after years of dipping in and out, I decided to read the story as a whole.

Immediately I realised I didn’t have a novel at all, just a series of scenes. But by that time, I had the whole plot in my head – although I hadn’t committed any of it to paper. I knew why. It was because the plot would hurt Tomos. After all those years of writing about him I was beginning to think of him as my third child, even if he did only exist in my imagination. And I didn’t relish hurting him.

But if I wanted the story to hold together, I was going to have to do something drastic – I needed to pull the rug out from under Tomos’s feet. So I took a deep breath and did exactly that.

And that’s when all the separate parts knitted together. All the necessary bits were there, they just needed bad things to happen to tug them into a whole. In some ways, I wish Tomos could still be sitting on his high sleeper bed waiting for me to send him on a trip to the petting farm. But then I guess I’d never have finished the novel.

So I got there in the end, but as I said – want to write a novel? Don’t take a leaf out of my book.

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